The influence story #2 | Karen Knight

Mentoring makes a huge difference. My mentor is Pat Johnson who is the Past International President. She used to live in the same city as I did. I had moved since then but she is still my mentor and I talk to her regularly and Pat Johnson has a mentor who is Ted Corcoran who is another Past International President who also has a mentor. I have about six people that I am mentoring right now.

I am a huge fan of mentoring

There is so much difference that you can make. One of my mentees Yasir Khan, he is from Pakistan - when he joined our club, he had never spoken in public before, but he really wanted to do things and he wanted to go to international stage. So he came over to my place one night and because he had joined in January, we did about three or four speeches so that he would be eligible for the club contest. He entered into International Speech Contest at the club level and won, and then he entered at the Area level and won, and then Division Level and won, and then he came second at the District level. He had been in Toastmasters for only three months.

If you have the right mentor, it can make all the difference in the world

This happened during last year (2017). This year, in March, he spoke on TEDx. It is just over a year, and he went from having never spoken in public to speaking on TEDx stage. He was amazing but, if you have the right mentor and that person has time to spend with you, it can make all the difference in the world.

Mentoring has a lasting impact

It has far more influence, long lasting influence than any other medium. I have been influenced by speeches, but it tends to be short term. Public speech is the best way to influence a large number of people - if you need to get A message across in a short period of time, a well-crafted speech will work for that. But if you wish to make a lasting change, then it is mentorship that does that definitely in my opinion.

-Karen

About Karen:

Karen Knight, DTM is a Past District Director - District 21 (Canada) and an avid Toastmaster since 1995. She has recently received her second DTM title and has finished the Competent Communicators manual at least 10 times. She is extremely amiable and a fantastic storyteller. She told me lots of stories about different influences. I thank her and take this opportunity to publish these stories through this blog.

Mentoring and Interpersonal communication | Randy Cooper

What is preferred way to influence people other than public speaking? TM Randy mentioned that it can be done through interpersonal communication and mentoring. "In Toastmasters, learning a person's goals is important.  It is also a big issue when working with club and district leaders.  There is a lot of mentoring and support, especially at the top levels of district leadership." I think, mentoring is one core and inseparable component in the Toastmasters education program which not only allows better learning, but also helps create the right influence.

Whenever there are influences that overlap, Randy specified, "We should find the common ground and work from there. When a club struggles, there are differing solutions to how to fix it.  However, when each side realizes that the other side has the same goal in mind, they can work through their differences."

Interpersonal communication is the most effective way to create influence

Randy concluded on a spotlight note saying "While public speaking is a great way to influence people, interpersonal communication is the most effective way to do so.  Knowing people and trusting them goes a long way to influencing each other."

I think in just a single conversation that I had with Randy regarding 'influence', I have had a supermassive learning. I learnt that interpersonal communication and mentoring are effective ways of influencing people and working towards same goal keeping aside the differences helps resolve influence overlaps.

About Randy:

From Alabama, USA, Randy Cooper, DTM is a Toastmaster dedicated to members. He is a Past District 77 Director and extremely active on International forums. TM Randy is also a Pathways enthusiast, his impressive analytical skills have bought a lot of knowledge to the international online forums.

The influence story #1 | Karen Knight

I was terrified to speak to more than three people. My colleague that time lit up when I asked about all the ribbons and the picture frame on her wall. She told me it was from Toastmasters and all about it.

I fell off, I was down and I scrambled

It was around St Patrick's day, the theme was Ireland when I visited a club for the very first time near my home and the Table Topic I got was 'Irish Music'. I was excited, I could talk all about it. I could talk about the Chieftans, and all the other bands; when on stage, all I could see were eyes. Thousands and thousands and thousands of eyes. There were 15 people and my throat closed up, I got a massive big knot in my stomach and my legs started to shake and I was shaking so bad that I literally fell off my high heeled shoes. I was down and I scrambled my feet, I mumbled out something. To this day, I have no idea what it was and I went back to my seat. I had decided that I will never put myself through this ever again. This is not worth it.

Most clubs in Canada evaluate Table Topics. The table topics evaluator came forward and spoke about everyone and then she said, "Karen, I want to congratulate you on your courage and getting up. It was obvious from the words you spoke, you had the knowledge and passion for Irish music." I thought, yeah, that's really true. "Next time you come out, take a few really deep breaths and that will help calm your nerves and stop some of the shaking. Let's congratulate her, she stayed up there for almost two full minutes most people would have run from the room so well done!" and she went on evaluating further.

I stayed, because she influenced me

I was sitting there thinking how could anyone find three honest good things about this speech where I fell down and that's when I decided, OK, I belong here. I have something to learn here. That was 23 years ago.

I remember clearly, her name was Holly Fredrickson. I can picture her, she had red hair and a long green dress. If she hadn't said that or if she had done some sort of whitewash or whatever, I wouldn't have stayed and I wouldn't have come back. She is the reason I am in Toastmasters. I stayed because she influenced me.

- Karen

About Karen:

Karen Knight, DTM is a Past District Director - District 21 (Canada) and an avid Toastmaster since 1995. She has recently received her second DTM title and has finished the Competent Communicators manual at least 10 times. She is extremely amiable and a fantastic storyteller. She told me lots of stories about different influences. I thank her and take this opportunity to publish these stories through this blog.

Soul departs, influence stays | Remembering Leo

I remember it was an audience of mere 12-15 members at a corporate club where I used to be a member. The then District Parliamentarian (later Club Growth Director and Program Quality Director) TM Leo, without slightest hesitation had delivered an educational session on "Goal setting". Although only a few present, everyone was infused with knowledge that was required.

In terms of membership, our club was one of the weakest in the Division at the time. Even today, if I recollect the regular visits he made to our club and the kind of impact he made to help us keep going - changed the way we thought. His passion towards contributing in Toastmasters was unwavering, influence immeasurable and energy unmatched.

At every training, educational session, contest or club meeting that we attended, TM Leo ensured that we were enriched with knowledge and that the seeds of success were planted.

Result of a tragic car accident, DTM Leo Paulose - Program Quality Director - District 98 (2018 - 19) is no longer with us.

Today, as we try to recover from the loss of the Toastmasters community, we seek to take Leo's vision forward. Because we are influenced, in one way or other. We are impacted. We are doubling our efforts to paint the dream envisioned. Because we are Toastmasters.

"A great man is one who leaves others at a loss after he is gone."

- Paul Valery

Actions, Purpose and Excellence | Chandrashekhar DP

The leaders across the globe project various methods of influencing people, public speaking is one of them. When I asked about the same, CSK had a unique opinion. "I believe influence happens a lot by one's actions than anything else. When executing, individuals are extremely creative and adaptive." I couldn't agree more on the fact that one's actions have great power to create the influence that words cannot. "When we watch a sports player perform exceptionally well, we often start picking up fine nuances from his craft and internalise them into our being. This simply put, is influence by actions." summarised CSK.

"It is the purpose that gives a leader clarity, conviction and courage for his/her actions."

Having said that, there is a possibility that different types of people may have various ways of influencing people around them. This is often owing to the different leadership styles. Such differences may result in a conflict. Under such circumstances what could be a plausible solution?

When asked, CSK replied "I think this variance is the most common of the real world problems. Some leaders subscribe to a populistic style and remain democratic in their actions, while others may choose to be autocratic in their outlook. These viewpoints and styles often conflicts one another. Whatever maybe the path chosen, a leader should always remain conscious of the purpose behind the action to be able to remain successful and deliver value." He further emphasised that it is the purpose that gives a leader clarity, conviction and courage for his/her actions. "There might be multiple ways to get to a destination, but if you are anchored to the purpose, you will manoeuvre any/all situations.

"The best way to begin influencing people is to start by influencing yourself."

CSK concluded on a rather optimistic note for those who seek to become influential. He said, "often people presume it is quite daunting to influence others. That is not true. To influence people, you do not need an eligibility/qualification or the grace of a position. The best way to begin influencing people is to start by influencing yourself.” A simple example is the fact that every time you want to do a particular thing, you head a variety of voices. One might tell you to push it forward (read: procrastinate) and the other might inspire you to act immediately. If we commit to action immediately, we end up influencing ourselves and the task gets accomplished. This is the simplest way to become an influencer.

To me, the key takeaways from this water-cooler conversation (13 Jul, 2018) with CSK are:

1) The hidden power of influence in our actions

2) One’s ability to influence self and others

3) To remain anchored to purpose in your actions.

About CSK:

Dr. Chandra Shekar DP is a Past District Director - District 98 (East and Central India) at Toastmasters International. He has worked at the intersection of education and entrepreneurship for more than 12 years. CSK, as he is popularly called, has consistently advocated for people to be driven by ambition and the pursuit of excellence.