The influence story #3 | Karen Knight

I had a friend who is a big into hiking. Going up the mountains and climbing... trekking. She was telling me about a place quite close to where we lived and she said, "oh! you've got to climb up. There you've got to go and see the view of the water from the top of this Mount Finlayson!", I only said "OK, I'll do it!". She wasn't able to go so I was going to be by myself - just to tell her that I did it and it was fine. I got there one day and pulled up. There were a fair number of people going at about the same time.

I am not very good shape, this was really a dumb idea - yet, I started up the trail. Not far in front of me, was an older lady and she was quite heavy. She was huffing and puffing - I got a bit of pride and I wasn't going to quit before she did. She never quit. She climbed right till the top of the mountain. The view was worth it, it was beautiful and we took pictures and spent some time.

"Thank you"..."For what?"

Then we all went down and the heavy lady also got down, she got in her car and drove away. I was getting ready to get into my car and this young girl comes up to me and says "Thank you!". I said, "For what?" and she said "well, I didn't really want to climb the mountain, my boyfriend made me. I saw you up ahead and I said well, when you quit, I will! I was so glad to thank you!".

I stopped there and I was just stunned because I was influencing someone without even knowing it and the lady that I followed who was influencing at least two people there may have been somebody following that girl who talked to me. She never ever knew it!

You could make the most amazing changes to the world and not even know it

You could make the most amazing changes to the world and not even know it - just be strong and do what is right because you never know who is watching you.

- Karen

About Karen:

Karen Knight, DTM is a Past District Director - District 21 (Canada) and an avid Toastmaster since 1995. She has recently received her second DTM title and has finished the Competent Communicators manual at least 10 times. She is extremely amiable and a fantastic storyteller. She told me lots of stories about different influences. I am thankful to her for sharing these inspiring stories.

The influence story #1 | Karen Knight

I was terrified to speak to more than three people. My colleague that time lit up when I asked about all the ribbons and the picture frame on her wall. She told me it was from Toastmasters and all about it.

I fell off, I was down and I scrambled

It was around St Patrick's day, the theme was Ireland when I visited a club for the very first time near my home and the Table Topic I got was 'Irish Music'. I was excited, I could talk all about it. I could talk about the Chieftans, and all the other bands; when on stage, all I could see were eyes. Thousands and thousands and thousands of eyes. There were 15 people and my throat closed up, I got a massive big knot in my stomach and my legs started to shake and I was shaking so bad that I literally fell off my high heeled shoes. I was down and I scrambled my feet, I mumbled out something. To this day, I have no idea what it was and I went back to my seat. I had decided that I will never put myself through this ever again. This is not worth it.

Most clubs in Canada evaluate Table Topics. The table topics evaluator came forward and spoke about everyone and then she said, "Karen, I want to congratulate you on your courage and getting up. It was obvious from the words you spoke, you had the knowledge and passion for Irish music." I thought, yeah, that's really true. "Next time you come out, take a few really deep breaths and that will help calm your nerves and stop some of the shaking. Let's congratulate her, she stayed up there for almost two full minutes most people would have run from the room so well done!" and she went on evaluating further.

I stayed, because she influenced me

I was sitting there thinking how could anyone find three honest good things about this speech where I fell down and that's when I decided, OK, I belong here. I have something to learn here. That was 23 years ago.

I remember clearly, her name was Holly Fredrickson. I can picture her, she had red hair and a long green dress. If she hadn't said that or if she had done some sort of whitewash or whatever, I wouldn't have stayed and I wouldn't have come back. She is the reason I am in Toastmasters. I stayed because she influenced me.

- Karen

About Karen:

Karen Knight, DTM is a Past District Director - District 21 (Canada) and an avid Toastmaster since 1995. She has recently received her second DTM title and has finished the Competent Communicators manual at least 10 times. She is extremely amiable and a fantastic storyteller. She told me lots of stories about different influences. I thank her and take this opportunity to publish these stories through this blog.

Helping others | Carole McCulloch

Leaders use a variety of methods to interact, communicate and influence. It could be interpersonal communication within a group, a public speech or even a phone call. But magic happens when they maximise their impact with other technological communication streams and social media! In Toastmasters, people can now join and interact internationally in online clubs. This is a challenging and equally exciting process to influence people. In Toastmasters, members are now interacting with learning management systems to enhance their learning and preparation for becoming better speakers and leaders. The new Pathways program is also challenging, and equally exciting. How would it work? I was fortunate enough to get an answer from TM Carole, she said "Pathways is inline with latest technology. Two leadership projects from my Paths (Effective Coaching - HPL) and (Strategic Relationships - Lead in Volunteer Organisation) have helped me shape my preferred leadership style in the international community of Toastmasters". There's no doubt that Pathways projects are made to work with the way we interact in this modern world. Mentoring continues to play a vital role as well, "Working with a team (Guidance Committee and/or Steering Committee) enables me to keep on track and check my thinking." Carole added about mentoring.

Open communication, conciliation and consensus

Even within online environment, encountering situations where there is a conflict between thought processes can be expected. People definitely tend to have different styles of influence and making their points. When I checked with Carole how she handles these, she mentioned "Conflict resolution is a challenge still for me and I usually strive for a 3 step process: open communication, conciliation and consensus". I personally feel that a structured and proper approach to handling such situations must definitely be effective. I would want to learn more about her experiences in future interactions.

She further added a very inspiring and rather an opinion that each one of us should carry with us "I like this new motto for helping my teams stay focused on 'helping others'".

Being a person who is effectively leading the online movement in Toastmasters, our interaction was also online and the conversation was definitely fruitful.

1. Learn from the Pathways projects by thoroughly studying them and using them effectively in this modern world

2. Structured approach towards a situation shall be effective

3. Key principle : 'helping others'

Moreover, TM Carole is a fantastic storyteller, and she paints her imagination in terms of Toastmasters through like an exquisite piece of artwork! You should definitely visit her blog to read more at:

https://toastedtraining.wordpress.com/

About TM Carole:

Carole McCulloch, DTM is an extremely enthusiastic Toastmaster from Victoria, Australia who is serving as a Leader for Division O in District U. District U is a District for undistricted clubs. In her team, she has around 30 Pathways Guides which are supporting around 160 clubs. What makes her leadership role in Toastmasters unique is the fact that she is leading a unit of clubs that is significantly different than land clubs.

Influence... what? how?

Social influence ties communication and leadership. Wikipedia: Social influence occurs when a person's emotions, opinions, or behaviours are affected by others; and takes many forms and can be seen in conformity, socialisation, peer pressure, obedience, leadership, persuasion, sales, and marketing.

People across the globe, through various methods, for different purposes strive to influence people. It could be a business, a social cause, a vision that has an impact on the humanity or even a selfish requirement.

The fundamental principle to influence people according to Dale Carnegie from his famous book, is to "arouse in the other person an eager want." Having a title or authority does not make you a great leader or influencer. Not everyone can be a leader neither everyone can be a follower. Those who can influence the best, can take control and work out for the best outcomes. Right influence is what differentiates a leader from a manager.

With Toastmasters, the potential is unlimited. Through a series of posts on this blog, I intend to take an opportunity to discuss the perspectives of successful influencers around me and discover more on this topic called "influence".

Because everything we say and do is the length and shadow of our own souls, our influence is determined by the quality of our being. – Dale Turner