The influence story #3 | Karen Knight

I had a friend who is a big into hiking. Going up the mountains and climbing... trekking. She was telling me about a place quite close to where we lived and she said, "oh! you've got to climb up. There you've got to go and see the view of the water from the top of this Mount Finlayson!", I only said "OK, I'll do it!". She wasn't able to go so I was going to be by myself - just to tell her that I did it and it was fine. I got there one day and pulled up. There were a fair number of people going at about the same time.

I am not very good shape, this was really a dumb idea - yet, I started up the trail. Not far in front of me, was an older lady and she was quite heavy. She was huffing and puffing - I got a bit of pride and I wasn't going to quit before she did. She never quit. She climbed right till the top of the mountain. The view was worth it, it was beautiful and we took pictures and spent some time.

"Thank you"..."For what?"

Then we all went down and the heavy lady also got down, she got in her car and drove away. I was getting ready to get into my car and this young girl comes up to me and says "Thank you!". I said, "For what?" and she said "well, I didn't really want to climb the mountain, my boyfriend made me. I saw you up ahead and I said well, when you quit, I will! I was so glad to thank you!".

I stopped there and I was just stunned because I was influencing someone without even knowing it and the lady that I followed who was influencing at least two people there may have been somebody following that girl who talked to me. She never ever knew it!

You could make the most amazing changes to the world and not even know it

You could make the most amazing changes to the world and not even know it - just be strong and do what is right because you never know who is watching you.

- Karen

About Karen:

Karen Knight, DTM is a Past District Director - District 21 (Canada) and an avid Toastmaster since 1995. She has recently received her second DTM title and has finished the Competent Communicators manual at least 10 times. She is extremely amiable and a fantastic storyteller. She told me lots of stories about different influences. I am thankful to her for sharing these inspiring stories.

Be accessible, build trust | Daniel Sandars

TM Daniel was extremely happy - not only because I contacted him for the blog post, but also because of a special connection that Northampton shares with Pune. Our member Aniket (from Deccan Toastmasters Club) had been a General Evaluator at the Northampton Speakers during his visit to UK - Daniel's club!

Exchange opportunities, help each other

Daniel shared a few thoughts about influence in general. "Toastmasters is a voluntary organization. My general approach is to understand the people that I am working with, and to try to identify their needs, motives. We get to exchange opportunities, for ex. maybe if someone wishes to do an HPL and I have another project, we could see these opportunities to help each other."

"My personal style is a very open collegiate democratic approach. I tend to communicate freely and explore ideas to build consensus. Even at the top levels of District Leadership, it is building up trust that is effective. Autocratic leadership doesn't work well in my opinion." Daniel mentioned discussing further on influence relating to leadership styles.

in Toastmasters, a leader might not have the necessary formal education

Daniel brought up a very important and a burning point during the discussion, "I have a very formal, well-developed educational background and I work at a University, but often within Toastmasters, people can be in Leadership positions even when they don't have a formal educational background as such. For ex. your District Director may not actually been to a University". The effective workaround in this situation was mentioned by Daniel "I always think it is very much up to me to reverse mentor and reverse manage that situation and try to develop the trust. I need to operate more freely."

establishing connection, being available is the key

What advice would Daniel give to new Toastmasters who want to influence people? "I really think that the key is getting to know people in a formal and informal situation, communicating freely, making yourselves available and accessible." He mentioned of a personal experience "When I had applied to be a Division Director, even before getting elected, I started networking with potential Area Directors. In our District, we elect Area Directors. We had established a connection through Facebook group six weeks before even I got elected."

Key takeaways for me from the fruitful and enlightening conversation with Daniel would be:

1. Trust is important to create influence

2. Mentor or reverse mentor depending on the situation

3. A leader should be accessible and available

About Daniel:

Daniel Sandars, DTM is a research fellow at Cranfield University, and a member of two clubs viz. Northampton Speakers and Cranfield Speakers. He is currently serving as the District Public Relations Manager at District 71. He has served more than 7 terms in different positions at clubs, also as Area G44 Director, Assistant Division G Director: Program Quality and Division H Director. He is a Fellow of Royal Society of Arts, an Associate fellow of the operational research society and a dual M Sc.

The influence story #2 | Karen Knight

Mentoring makes a huge difference. My mentor is Pat Johnson who is the Past International President. She used to live in the same city as I did. I had moved since then but she is still my mentor and I talk to her regularly and Pat Johnson has a mentor who is Ted Corcoran who is another Past International President who also has a mentor. I have about six people that I am mentoring right now.

I am a huge fan of mentoring

There is so much difference that you can make. One of my mentees Yasir Khan, he is from Pakistan - when he joined our club, he had never spoken in public before, but he really wanted to do things and he wanted to go to international stage. So he came over to my place one night and because he had joined in January, we did about three or four speeches so that he would be eligible for the club contest. He entered into International Speech Contest at the club level and won, and then he entered at the Area level and won, and then Division Level and won, and then he came second at the District level. He had been in Toastmasters for only three months.

If you have the right mentor, it can make all the difference in the world

This happened during last year (2017). This year, in March, he spoke on TEDx. It is just over a year, and he went from having never spoken in public to speaking on TEDx stage. He was amazing but, if you have the right mentor and that person has time to spend with you, it can make all the difference in the world.

Mentoring has a lasting impact

It has far more influence, long lasting influence than any other medium. I have been influenced by speeches, but it tends to be short term. Public speech is the best way to influence a large number of people - if you need to get A message across in a short period of time, a well-crafted speech will work for that. But if you wish to make a lasting change, then it is mentorship that does that definitely in my opinion.

-Karen

About Karen:

Karen Knight, DTM is a Past District Director - District 21 (Canada) and an avid Toastmaster since 1995. She has recently received her second DTM title and has finished the Competent Communicators manual at least 10 times. She is extremely amiable and a fantastic storyteller. She told me lots of stories about different influences. I thank her and take this opportunity to publish these stories through this blog.

Mentoring and Interpersonal communication | Randy Cooper

What is preferred way to influence people other than public speaking? TM Randy mentioned that it can be done through interpersonal communication and mentoring. "In Toastmasters, learning a person's goals is important.  It is also a big issue when working with club and district leaders.  There is a lot of mentoring and support, especially at the top levels of district leadership." I think, mentoring is one core and inseparable component in the Toastmasters education program which not only allows better learning, but also helps create the right influence.

Whenever there are influences that overlap, Randy specified, "We should find the common ground and work from there. When a club struggles, there are differing solutions to how to fix it.  However, when each side realizes that the other side has the same goal in mind, they can work through their differences."

Interpersonal communication is the most effective way to create influence

Randy concluded on a spotlight note saying "While public speaking is a great way to influence people, interpersonal communication is the most effective way to do so.  Knowing people and trusting them goes a long way to influencing each other."

I think in just a single conversation that I had with Randy regarding 'influence', I have had a supermassive learning. I learnt that interpersonal communication and mentoring are effective ways of influencing people and working towards same goal keeping aside the differences helps resolve influence overlaps.

About Randy:

From Alabama, USA, Randy Cooper, DTM is a Toastmaster dedicated to members. He is a Past District 77 Director and extremely active on International forums. TM Randy is also a Pathways enthusiast, his impressive analytical skills have bought a lot of knowledge to the international online forums.

The influence story #1 | Karen Knight

I was terrified to speak to more than three people. My colleague that time lit up when I asked about all the ribbons and the picture frame on her wall. She told me it was from Toastmasters and all about it.

I fell off, I was down and I scrambled

It was around St Patrick's day, the theme was Ireland when I visited a club for the very first time near my home and the Table Topic I got was 'Irish Music'. I was excited, I could talk all about it. I could talk about the Chieftans, and all the other bands; when on stage, all I could see were eyes. Thousands and thousands and thousands of eyes. There were 15 people and my throat closed up, I got a massive big knot in my stomach and my legs started to shake and I was shaking so bad that I literally fell off my high heeled shoes. I was down and I scrambled my feet, I mumbled out something. To this day, I have no idea what it was and I went back to my seat. I had decided that I will never put myself through this ever again. This is not worth it.

Most clubs in Canada evaluate Table Topics. The table topics evaluator came forward and spoke about everyone and then she said, "Karen, I want to congratulate you on your courage and getting up. It was obvious from the words you spoke, you had the knowledge and passion for Irish music." I thought, yeah, that's really true. "Next time you come out, take a few really deep breaths and that will help calm your nerves and stop some of the shaking. Let's congratulate her, she stayed up there for almost two full minutes most people would have run from the room so well done!" and she went on evaluating further.

I stayed, because she influenced me

I was sitting there thinking how could anyone find three honest good things about this speech where I fell down and that's when I decided, OK, I belong here. I have something to learn here. That was 23 years ago.

I remember clearly, her name was Holly Fredrickson. I can picture her, she had red hair and a long green dress. If she hadn't said that or if she had done some sort of whitewash or whatever, I wouldn't have stayed and I wouldn't have come back. She is the reason I am in Toastmasters. I stayed because she influenced me.

- Karen

About Karen:

Karen Knight, DTM is a Past District Director - District 21 (Canada) and an avid Toastmaster since 1995. She has recently received her second DTM title and has finished the Competent Communicators manual at least 10 times. She is extremely amiable and a fantastic storyteller. She told me lots of stories about different influences. I thank her and take this opportunity to publish these stories through this blog.

Soul departs, influence stays | Remembering Leo

I remember it was an audience of mere 12-15 members at a corporate club where I used to be a member. The then District Parliamentarian (later Club Growth Director and Program Quality Director) TM Leo, without slightest hesitation had delivered an educational session on "Goal setting". Although only a few present, everyone was infused with knowledge that was required.

In terms of membership, our club was one of the weakest in the Division at the time. Even today, if I recollect the regular visits he made to our club and the kind of impact he made to help us keep going - changed the way we thought. His passion towards contributing in Toastmasters was unwavering, influence immeasurable and energy unmatched.

At every training, educational session, contest or club meeting that we attended, TM Leo ensured that we were enriched with knowledge and that the seeds of success were planted.

Result of a tragic car accident, DTM Leo Paulose - Program Quality Director - District 98 (2018 - 19) is no longer with us.

Today, as we try to recover from the loss of the Toastmasters community, we seek to take Leo's vision forward. Because we are influenced, in one way or other. We are impacted. We are doubling our efforts to paint the dream envisioned. Because we are Toastmasters.

"A great man is one who leaves others at a loss after he is gone."

- Paul Valery

Focus on the similarities, ignore the differences

Influence is such a vast topic to cover. To get a perspective about the same outside Toastmasters, I spoke to a leader within an organization. I spoke to a senior management executive who works at SAP SE, and he had very interesting insights to share. "I believe that influence is all about helping people believe the ultimate benefit. It is not about you, but about those who realize the ultimate goal and believe in you. People have to buy in themselves." It is important for everyone to be working on a same objective.

Ignore the differences, focus on similarities.

In terms when speaking about influence, it is important to understand how to resolve conflicts that rise through different styles. We couldn't skip an important point during our discussion which was about the solution to such conflicts. "I think you need to find a middle ground. Whenever there are disagreements between two people, they could be from your team or reporting to you, you should focus on the similarities and not differences. Ignore the differences, focus on similarities." he mentioned. I hadn't realized that such a simple, subtle but effective way existed to tackle conflicts.

Leadership is not about creating influence. It is about inspiring people.

However, we came to a conclusion that influence is not the highest thing. "Leadership is not about creating influence. It is about inspiring people. You don't need to be a manager to be a leader. You inspire people with your actions and that's it!" he said.

One key takeaway for me would be that whenever there are conflicts, focus on similarities and ignore the differences.

About the interviewee:

The person interviewed who preferred to stay anonymous, is a key management person at SAP SE who has several global teams reporting to him and looks after an extremely critical business unit at the organization. He has extensive experience in managing global teams at different capacities.

Helping others | Carole McCulloch

Leaders use a variety of methods to interact, communicate and influence. It could be interpersonal communication within a group, a public speech or even a phone call. But magic happens when they maximise their impact with other technological communication streams and social media! In Toastmasters, people can now join and interact internationally in online clubs. This is a challenging and equally exciting process to influence people. In Toastmasters, members are now interacting with learning management systems to enhance their learning and preparation for becoming better speakers and leaders. The new Pathways program is also challenging, and equally exciting. How would it work? I was fortunate enough to get an answer from TM Carole, she said "Pathways is inline with latest technology. Two leadership projects from my Paths (Effective Coaching - HPL) and (Strategic Relationships - Lead in Volunteer Organisation) have helped me shape my preferred leadership style in the international community of Toastmasters". There's no doubt that Pathways projects are made to work with the way we interact in this modern world. Mentoring continues to play a vital role as well, "Working with a team (Guidance Committee and/or Steering Committee) enables me to keep on track and check my thinking." Carole added about mentoring.

Open communication, conciliation and consensus

Even within online environment, encountering situations where there is a conflict between thought processes can be expected. People definitely tend to have different styles of influence and making their points. When I checked with Carole how she handles these, she mentioned "Conflict resolution is a challenge still for me and I usually strive for a 3 step process: open communication, conciliation and consensus". I personally feel that a structured and proper approach to handling such situations must definitely be effective. I would want to learn more about her experiences in future interactions.

She further added a very inspiring and rather an opinion that each one of us should carry with us "I like this new motto for helping my teams stay focused on 'helping others'".

Being a person who is effectively leading the online movement in Toastmasters, our interaction was also online and the conversation was definitely fruitful.

1. Learn from the Pathways projects by thoroughly studying them and using them effectively in this modern world

2. Structured approach towards a situation shall be effective

3. Key principle : 'helping others'

Moreover, TM Carole is a fantastic storyteller, and she paints her imagination in terms of Toastmasters through like an exquisite piece of artwork! You should definitely visit her blog to read more at:

https://toastedtraining.wordpress.com/

About TM Carole:

Carole McCulloch, DTM is an extremely enthusiastic Toastmaster from Victoria, Australia who is serving as a Leader for Division O in District U. District U is a District for undistricted clubs. In her team, she has around 30 Pathways Guides which are supporting around 160 clubs. What makes her leadership role in Toastmasters unique is the fact that she is leading a unit of clubs that is significantly different than land clubs.

Actions, Purpose and Excellence | Chandrashekhar DP

The leaders across the globe project various methods of influencing people, public speaking is one of them. When I asked about the same, CSK had a unique opinion. "I believe influence happens a lot by one's actions than anything else. When executing, individuals are extremely creative and adaptive." I couldn't agree more on the fact that one's actions have great power to create the influence that words cannot. "When we watch a sports player perform exceptionally well, we often start picking up fine nuances from his craft and internalise them into our being. This simply put, is influence by actions." summarised CSK.

"It is the purpose that gives a leader clarity, conviction and courage for his/her actions."

Having said that, there is a possibility that different types of people may have various ways of influencing people around them. This is often owing to the different leadership styles. Such differences may result in a conflict. Under such circumstances what could be a plausible solution?

When asked, CSK replied "I think this variance is the most common of the real world problems. Some leaders subscribe to a populistic style and remain democratic in their actions, while others may choose to be autocratic in their outlook. These viewpoints and styles often conflicts one another. Whatever maybe the path chosen, a leader should always remain conscious of the purpose behind the action to be able to remain successful and deliver value." He further emphasised that it is the purpose that gives a leader clarity, conviction and courage for his/her actions. "There might be multiple ways to get to a destination, but if you are anchored to the purpose, you will manoeuvre any/all situations.

"The best way to begin influencing people is to start by influencing yourself."

CSK concluded on a rather optimistic note for those who seek to become influential. He said, "often people presume it is quite daunting to influence others. That is not true. To influence people, you do not need an eligibility/qualification or the grace of a position. The best way to begin influencing people is to start by influencing yourself.” A simple example is the fact that every time you want to do a particular thing, you head a variety of voices. One might tell you to push it forward (read: procrastinate) and the other might inspire you to act immediately. If we commit to action immediately, we end up influencing ourselves and the task gets accomplished. This is the simplest way to become an influencer.

To me, the key takeaways from this water-cooler conversation (13 Jul, 2018) with CSK are:

1) The hidden power of influence in our actions

2) One’s ability to influence self and others

3) To remain anchored to purpose in your actions.

About CSK:

Dr. Chandra Shekar DP is a Past District Director - District 98 (East and Central India) at Toastmasters International. He has worked at the intersection of education and entrepreneurship for more than 12 years. CSK, as he is popularly called, has consistently advocated for people to be driven by ambition and the pursuit of excellence.

Influence... what? how?

Social influence ties communication and leadership. Wikipedia: Social influence occurs when a person's emotions, opinions, or behaviours are affected by others; and takes many forms and can be seen in conformity, socialisation, peer pressure, obedience, leadership, persuasion, sales, and marketing.

People across the globe, through various methods, for different purposes strive to influence people. It could be a business, a social cause, a vision that has an impact on the humanity or even a selfish requirement.

The fundamental principle to influence people according to Dale Carnegie from his famous book, is to "arouse in the other person an eager want." Having a title or authority does not make you a great leader or influencer. Not everyone can be a leader neither everyone can be a follower. Those who can influence the best, can take control and work out for the best outcomes. Right influence is what differentiates a leader from a manager.

With Toastmasters, the potential is unlimited. Through a series of posts on this blog, I intend to take an opportunity to discuss the perspectives of successful influencers around me and discover more on this topic called "influence".

Because everything we say and do is the length and shadow of our own souls, our influence is determined by the quality of our being. – Dale Turner